Family Time? My Cup NEVER Runneth Over (a.k.a. Not Enough Time)

When living abroad and coming home for the summer... 

It's hard to say good-bye to family when you've 

missed almost a year of their lives.

But it's even HARDER to explain

how much it hurts to see them living their lives without you... 

(And getting on, just fine for that matter)

How many times can you really say "I miss you"

before it starts to lose it's value?

Or even the words "I love you?"

Some moments are never to be forgotten...

While others, definitely are.

Whenever I travel home from overseas, 

I struggle with the idea of 

"coming home" or "moving back to Canada"

to be closer to family.

But when given the chance,

most people take for granted the proximity of family and 

suddenly you don't appreciate 

being home for dinner every Sunday night.

That doesn't happen when living abroad.

Why can't the grass be green on BOTH sides of the fence?

Sigh*

After all this time, 

I still don't know what to do.

So...yeah.

I am still percolating on this matter.

Can Nature Really Hurt or Heal You?

Only two weeks back in Hanoi and 
already I am feeling a difference 
in my body when I run.

This was the view of one of my many runs in Nanaimo this past summer.

Beautiful scenery, 

warm sun (but not too hot),

slight breeze and soft-forest floors for natural padding.

Ahhhhh - life was good.

I felt like running was time where I could 

think,

breath,

and just find some inner peace.

It made running 17 km somewhat enjoyable.

Okay, maybe not that much...

But now?

I face this kind of thick brush, 

jungle life,

and 

overwhelming HEAT! 

Don't believe me?

Although my legs are NOT in the best shape,

those spandex were dry before I started running.

No only are they shiny after 20 minutes 

BUT

those baby's were DRENCHED by the end of the run.

The kind of "uncomfortable" to "impossibly" wet.

Water was absolutely spilling everywhere

which really means I was a red hot mess of sweat.

Ew.

On average, 

the temperature in Vietnam during the month of August is 

around mid to high 30 Celsius.

Add the humidity 

(the humidity is the amount of water in the air)

and it feels closer to 40 degrees.

A wet, hot, hard to breath air = sweaty mess if you ask me. 

So what to do?

Especially when running is a major component to my workout

regime at the moment?

AND

Decided to do this again this year.

So again, what to do?

Some studies now suggest that running in the heat can almost be 

like training at higher altitudes.

Although not the exact same, the effort of running in the heat is

more challenging than no heat at all.

Either way, 

I am trying to be smart and not 

fretting TOO MUCH about just how bloody slow&sluggish 

I feel.

Sigh*

Although I do miss the mountains and the sea breeze of

my Nanaimo runs...my Hanoi sunsets will have to do.

For now.

This Guy - So OLD!!!

Everett Robert Wells, it's your birthday.

Which kinda means, I gotta embarrass you a little?

No?!?

You were my little "Evie" from the beginning.

Which you didn't always love 

because that meant you had to play games like

 "horsie" and "dress-up"

But despite all that trauma, you still grew up loving your older, wiser, gorgeous, etc., sister...

And even came to VISIT her in the Desh!!!

Coffee tasting in Dhaka, Bangladesh.

Why?

WHY NOT!?!

And nothing really says "I love you" like a good memory of 

Go-Cart riding with your sister.

Bangladeshi go carts are SUPER safe.

(Only three people were lost that day on the track, including Peter's pride!)

No matter what, you have always been gifted little brother.

Gifted because you were NEVER actually little.

Gifted because whatever you did?

You did it with your own style, your own way...even your OWN special nickname.

"SPI-Daaaah Wells"

Although there were time you copied me, naturally of course!!!

(Clearly you saw me as a hero thus why you copied the amazing-shaggy-mop look from older sis!)

So to sum up?

 Dear Everett,

Happy birthday, I hope you had a wonderful day.

Every year you get older and can't help but think

"Damn it, my little brother keeps getting older 

(which means I am old)

but also

he is gonna be one of those people, a man that I 

will really admire and eventually look up to...

But that is only when you get REALLY OLD!

Until  that day?

You are just my little baby brother.

(Who I might occasionally turn to for advice - BAH-HAHHA!)

Love you,

Lo

Lauren vs. Stress Is A Constant Battle That I Often Lose

I never knew just how stressed-out I could be until I started teaching...

Some would argue

(including myself)

that I have always had the "stress-ball" personality trait. 

Examples?

#1 
Not being able to sleep for months my first year at Tennessee because I was so worried 

about not performing to standards and losing my rowing scholarship.

(Of course, this did not happen. In fact, I was on a full ride after that 

very year because I HAD surpassed my own goals - good girl, Lo)

#2 
Living abroad and not having any money - hah! 

Now that WAS stressful!

I remember being able to only afford chocolate and bread 

for weeks...
And of course, my roommates would make these Suisse meals that
smelt  AMAZING - ugh!

But I had too much pride to ask for a small helping

or show just how hungry I was.

In the end, it all worked out.

I  found a job (my first teaching job actually)

and fell in love with work, which helped me stay overseas longer than expected!

(And it might have helped that I had an awesome man friend at the time

and an amazing rowing club that I adored!)

#3
 Rowing for the National Team. 
As FUN and EXCITING as it was, it stressed the HECK out of me.

From making weight to thinking about the hard workouts to come.

Of course, when you get on the water that all falls to the wayside 
and the thrill of the boat moving was enough for me 
(let alone the INCREDIBLE teammates and coaches that surrounded me)
but 

MAN - OH - MAN

the build up of STRESS that I created - Sheeeesh.

(And in truth, I was never very good at doing one thing at a time so I liked

to work on the side, or volunteer, or take courses at Uni...)

But those were all for GOOD reasons.

Why am I still such a stress-ball?
***
No kids.
No health issues.
No debt.
No rashes...yet.
***

I dunno.

Will get back to you when I know.

Until then...this might be insightful:

I went to the supermarket this morning. I was really hungry.

What do I want for breakfast? Salty? Sweet?

Something light and quick or something filling?

Eggs and toast, maybe with an avocado sliced on top? Bean tacos? A cup of coffee and a hearty cookie? A muffin? Maybe chai and fruit!

I really, really want something, but I don’t know what.

A woman is standing in front of me drinking a chocolate protein drink. I ask her if it’s good.

"It’s the most delicious protein shake I’ve ever had", she says.

I grab one, open it and take a big slug. As a food lover, I never would have thought “I want a protein shake” but it’s creamy and thick and satisfying and I feel like my whole body is thanking me for choosing just what I needed.

This is what life is like.

I don’t know what I want.

Instead of feeling angst about this, which makes me feel inadequate, nervous, fearful, stressed, closed off, I have learned that not knowing what I want is a gift, not a curse.

It keeps me receptive, open and ready to welcome the perfect thing.

Written by: Dushka Zapata

https://www.quora.com/What-is-your-most-memorable-cultural-shock/answer/Dushka-Zapata

To sum up?
(How do I continue to NOT feed this stress-ball personality trait?)

1. Drink coffee.

2. Colour more often.

3. Drink more PINK lemonade 

(both alcoholic and non-alcoholic - HAH!)

Remember to play ~ MUD is a great TOOL for play.

(Just saying)

Or...perhaps just play dress-up more?

(Clearly, I should have been a doctor!)

Did I mention drink a LOT of coffee?
That always helps my DE-stress.

GOOD PLAN LAUREN!

P.S.
Any suggestions, comments, advice, or complaints are welcome!

Constant Motion = Potentially BETTER Thinking (I need all the help I can get)

Science FACT.
(And perhap the answer as to why I 
have to go for a run and/or exercise
when stressed or need time to think)

When we run or do exercise, 
we actually think more clearly.

TRUE STORY.

From the Magazine "Scientific America" the research suggests that,

Research shows that when we exercise, blood pressure and blood flow increase everywhere in the body, including the brain. More blood means more energy and oxygen, which makes our brain perform better.

Another explanation for why working up a sweat enhances our mental capacity is that the hippocampus, a part of the brain critical for learning and memory, is highly active during exercise. When the neurons in this structure rev up, research shows that our cognitive function improves. For instance, studies in mice have revealed that running enhances spatial learning. Other recent work indicates that aerobic exercise can actually reverse hippocampal shrinkage, which occurs naturally with age, and consequently boost memory in older adults. Yet another study found that students who exercise perform better on tests than their less athletic peers.

So...anyone want to go for run?
I need to clear my head and get over this jetlag-drunk-feeling.

Argh.

Yup - I Face PLANT Like Everyone (harrrrd)

So, I did something stupid.

Really stupid.

I ran without shoes and destroyed my feet.

Wait...what!?! 

Will you at least let me explain myself?

I can feel your judgments already.

Sigh*

It happened yesterday.

I wanted to "ride" up this hill on my new-amazing

bike and so BOOM!

Had the whole thing planned out!

Had my water bottles?

Check.

Had my bike?

Check.

Had my PUMP-IT-UP-MUSIC and PODCASTS?

Check.

But I had a bit of riding to do before I got there and so when I finally did get there...

....my legs would not go.

WHAAAAAAAAAT???

Okay-okay, explain yourself Lauren.

In other words?

Explanations that could be used as evidence to support my failed attempt:

1. Being out of shape

(Ummm, yeah. Most likely. Hate to say it but this gurrrl 

is still trying to find her biking legs - argh!)

or 

2. Falling halfway up the mountain because I tried to "clip-out"

(Bad move, DO NOT clip-out on a steep hill,

just keep going!!!)

or 

3. Road block in my head and had TOTALLY

psyched myself out.

(Which happens to most people, especially this guy!)

So what is a girl to do?

What would YOU do?

More importantly, what would RHIANNON do?

RUN IT OF COURSE! Why?

I was so angry.

So disappointed in myself.

So upset that I would not get to climb this amazing HILL!

I MEAN COME'ON!!!!!

So, I problem solved.

I found a place for my bike at the side of the road.

I took off my biking shoes.

Got my music pumping.

Picked a number I liked, which was four. Clearly.

(Because that is a great number and one of my favourites)

And decided to run all the way up and down that hill,

not stopping until I was finished the job.

Boom.

However, 

there was one thing I kinda over-looked.

While I was repeating a quote that I had heard in a great book called,

"Born to Run"

“Think Easy, Light, Smooth, and Fast. You start with easy, because if that’s all you get, that’s not so bad. Then work on light. Make it effortless, like you don’t give a shit how high the hill is or how far you’ve got to go. When you’ve practiced that so long that you forget you’re practicing, you work on making it smooooooth. You won’t have to worry about the last one – you get those three, and you’ll be fast.” 

  

Quote is from a man named Caballo Blanco

My feet were getting absolutely destroyed and 

so big and mushy that

I thought 

(while making the hour long ride home after the run)

 that I should cut those blister open and let them breath, right?

NO!

Never a good idea Lauren!

Leave blisters alone when they are one

the bottom of your feet!

ESPECIALLY WITHIN HOURS OF GETTING THEM!

Argh.

And so, that was dumb.

A stupid self-diagnosis and/or surgery gone WRONG!

And the result?

Far too painful.

Normally I would say stupid things like, 

no pain no grain,

or

hurt so good,

or

Love it, HECK YEAH!!!

But

Traveling with sore feet is the worst.

And airports are CRAP when you have to walk a lot

and have REALLY-REALLY sore feet.

Double Argh.

Shall we review?

I battled the beast and lost harrrd.

BIT-THE DUST.

Calder Road, you win.

I lost.

Good fight.

YOU WIN!!!

Until we meet again.

SO...YEAH.

I Always "TRY" and Listen To My Tea

Sometimes, I don't need any advice at all.

I just listen to my tea...and smile.

Last real night in Canada.

Sigh*

Spoiled ROTTEN!!!!