"What Would She Say" refers to my twin sister,Rhiannon. Rhiannon is challenged with autism and does not speak, cannot look after herself and will never develop past the capabilities of a 3 to 4 year old. However, all is not lost. I would like to think (even if some people believe this to be false) that Rhiannon and I share a special bond. So I try to ask myself as often as possible...what would Rhiannon say about this...? And thus the title was born - BOOM!
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Sunday, 23 November 2014
Thursday, 20 November 2014
Still the best ride in town...
When you are running late to school or need to get somewhere
QUICK, who you gonna call?
A CNG BABY!
As long as you know you may
a. crash
b. almost crash
c. definitely hit something but keep going
That's life in the Desh.
Wednesday, 19 November 2014
Saturday, 15 November 2014
Baking With Chef Lauren - BEWARE!
What will you need to prepare this lemon pie? A crust of COURSE!
Step 1 - We need butter, flour, one yellow egg, water, icing sugar.
Boom.
(Don't ask me how much, I don't weigh or measure ingredients - okay?)
The poor individual cooking with me: Umm- okay. Not sure how I can properly start this recipe with no measurements...
Maybe could you give me SOME tips on how the crust should feel? Wet? Dry? Mix slowly?
Chef Lauren? Are you even listening to me?
What was that? Oh yeah, you'll also need a BOWL!
(I like to YELL sometime)
Oh yeah, and make it a big one!
Yeah, I got it. A bowl. Great Captain Obvious!
Now that the dough is all mixed, we let it sit.
Wait - how did you mix that? Can you explain what you did?
Well, I used my hands. And made sure to use my strong finger pulse muscles.
Finger pulse muscles? I - I - I....I don't even know where to start with that comment.
I think I am getting a headache.
Profile pic of the dough. Crucial that it looks exactly like this.
Because?
Because the rounder the dough, the better the taste of course
(Sheeesh - were did you learn not to bake?)
*Heavy sigh
(No comment from poor individual)
And now we take this lime and shave some from the top....
Errr, you meant to say LEMON right? Not lime. Because this is a lemon pie recipe.
Not a lime pie recipe...right?
Nope, It's a lime but yes, we are making a lemon pie recipe.
I bought it from the grocery store in the Desh and it says lime so we call it a lime.
Stop asking such ridiculously stupid questions.
Argh*
(Sounds from poor individual)
I said from the TOP! Why don't you listen to me?
But what difference does it make?
Because it's FRESHER on the TOP of course!
DUH!.
I need a drink.
Ohhh what good idea, we can have TEA with our lemon pie!
But I thought you said those were LIMES!?!?!
This is my favourite part, add some eggs, sugar and CREAM!
Ohh cool, cream and eggs all mixed together?
No silly, crack'em one at a time and mix slowly.
Why?
Because I said so, cheeky!
And once you have put the pie out like that...
Wait, wait, WAIT! How did you do that?
I just took a fork and put holes through the dough of course -
how ELSE would I do that?
I give up, where are your shot glasses?
See the technique involved with the mixing?
Are you even WATCHING ME!
Don't you want to learn how to make a lemon pie?
(The poor individual has just downed two shots of hard liquor)
Yup. Yup - yup!
I am here and ready to learn from you, the Ohhhh Might Master Chef!
(BURP!)
Ewwww - that stinks!
Sorry
(But really the poor individual is thinking MOU - hahahah NO I AM NOT!)
And then PRESTO - put it in the oven and you have a pie!
How long do we let it cook for?
Until it's kinda shinny and brown on the top.
And of course, it will smells ready.
Smells ready?
Yes, why?
Ohh, right. No reason.
(Of all the chefs I have worked with this one is really the......grrrr!)
Pretty sure I NAILED that!
Best lemon pie and lesson EVER!
WAY TO GO CHEF WELLS!
BOOM.
So, do you have any questions?
You do have a real job, don't you?
Wednesday, 12 November 2014
Ummm, hello up there?
This is what I woke up to this morning...
Reaaally?
What am I suppose to DO with this hair, eh?
It's a little out of place, no?
It's a little out of place, no?
I'm so embarrassed I can't even look at myself!
What the heck am I gonna do?
How do I problem solve this situation?
Maybe if I duck face the whole day no one will notice
my fringe...that is sticking up!
(sticking up like little arms, trying to do that dance move....what do the
kids call it these days? Raise the ROOF!)
Tuesday, 11 November 2014
Friday, 7 November 2014
Little Brothers:Do you need one? I can share - Hah!
When did my little brother get smarter than me?
(Wait, don't answer that. Let's try again)
When did my little brother become so wise, far beyond his 27 years?
(At least I think he is 27 now, maybe it's 28?)
Hahahha!
Like most people who live and work away from home,
you can sometimes feel a little out-of-place
AND
a little unsure of where you really do, belong...
(Very confusing for me right now, but we'll get into that later)
Whenever I have moments like these
(Where I doubt who I am, where I belong, do I fit anywhere anymore?)
I just look at something Everett sent me
months ago....
See Lo, you fit.
Missing you Ev, missing you family and missing my home.
Canada.
*sigh
(Wait, don't answer that. Let's try again)
When did my little brother become so wise, far beyond his 27 years?
(At least I think he is 27 now, maybe it's 28?)
Hahahha!
Like most people who live and work away from home,
you can sometimes feel a little out-of-place
AND
a little unsure of where you really do, belong...
(Very confusing for me right now, but we'll get into that later)
Whenever I have moments like these
(Where I doubt who I am, where I belong, do I fit anywhere anymore?)
I just look at something Everett sent me
months ago....
See Lo, you fit.
Missing you Ev, missing you family and missing my home.
Canada.
*sigh
Thursday, 6 November 2014
Take Me Out to A Ball Game...and then the Aquarium?
This is why I miss my friend Erin and Lynn
"EXCUSE ME? You love the Blue Jays more than me?"
Friends for life with the people behind us.
Erin making friends WHERE-EVER she goes - Hah!
Lynn makes friends with Cider...my kind of girl!
Nuff said!
BEHOLD - the glorious Toronto CN Tower.
Boom.
A clown wearing clown pants on a very hot day - reminds me of Dhaka.
Love the HEAT!
Things to eat at a baseball game...
...yes, those ARE cherries and they are delicious!
You can never get enough shots of that tower, eh?
And that is a WRAP people...now on to the aquarium!
(I think it's almost prettier with no one on it, eh?)
Yeah - yeah we get it Lauren!
It's a tall tower....shesssh!
Wow, someone REALLY likes the CN Tower....
I love Erin's face in this picture...what do you mean I can't get IN the pool with them?
Kidding*
Happy smiles for photo~!
And that is why I am afraid of swimming in the ocean, yo!
That is just scary, word.
This was my FAVOURITE part of the whole aquarium thing.
The JELLIES!!!!
I will name this one Norman....
...and this one Steward....
...and this one Malinda....
...and this one Fanny....no wait.
THAT'S ERIN!!!
Good times, great oldies.
Let's do it all over again next summer?
But this time,
don't lose your freaking WALLET Lauren!
Argh.
Tuesday, 4 November 2014
The Question is - Why?
I was asked the simple question
"Why?"
And at that very moment, off the top of my head, from the deepest parts of my heart...
....is was my answer.
***
Why
do I get so excited about sharing ideas?
Why
do moments with young minds lighten my steps some days and bring me crashing
down the next?
I walk into class often forgetting which one of us is the
teacher,
Lose myself in a moment, erupt into a fit of giggles and then
hiccup as I remember,
"Ohhh SHOOT! It's me the teacher - calm DOWN Miss Wells!
Remember who you are!"
But why does it have to be so different?
When did everything decide to change?
My eyes are bright, my outfit perfect but that goofy childish
grin just won't go away.
The rules may be different and the lessons may feel longer but
it's still the same childish me,
Breathing in and out and in and out.
But wait, my chest suddenly hurts. I'm wheezing.
There's too much pressure and there’s too much to do; I can’t
breathe~!
I can't - I can't catch my breath.
I start panicking, the pressure is too much. I'm slowly backing
up.
I'm not ready for this. I don't want to grow-up, I don't want to
be the teacher when I still feel like a student!
Something pushes me harrrd from behind.
WHEN WILL YOU WAKE UP LAUREN? Quit being a BABY! Your time is
up!
Heels are slapped on, a permanent smile tattooed to my face.
Who’s voice is that?
Even my own voice, is unrecognizable.
Its projection seems too loud, so much louder than I expected.
How did I get here? Why am I standing here?
This isn’t what I order? Who ordered 25 sets of unblinking eyes?
Eyes that do nothing but stare.
Then I see her.
My inner child sits across from me, waving slowly.
She is saying goodbye.
But I’m not ready to say it back.
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIT I scream!
Those are my thoughts that scream, my mouth is well programmed.
Today's lesson slips from my lips and moves along seamlessly,
Like a dictation I explain the concept, the vocabulary, more
terminology; it's delivered perfectly.
But my mind is not calm – far from it.
I try to get in the zone but my brain is overstimulated and that
little kid keeps waving at me.
She is waving goodbye or is it hello?
I feel sick.
Why do I always feel so left behind?
Why didn't I get on that train already?
And why is everyone around me so pissed that I keep missing it?
But YOU already know the answer, right Ms.Wells?
SNAP!
Back to reality, all eyes on me – how long have I been daydreaming?
The unblinking eyes are back in full force,
And suddenly all four whiteboard walls that enclose me, feel
like their getting closer.
Silence grows and time ticks.
My mind races while I repeat the question that I never heard
over and over again,
And then, like magic, Ms. Wells speaks..
"Well of course I know the answer, I know
everything~!"
Lips curl, smiles erupt and superficial clouds pop while real
laughter rains down on all of us.
My chest feels light again, my nerves are calm, all my anxiety
dries up.
Balance returns, my focus is back.
Like a bird that has come back to its nest, it settles in and
rediscovers its comfort.
I really do love my job.
Of course it frightens, daily actually.
But the challenges force me to face fears I never even knew I
had.
I have to deal with myself and all the hidden monsters, the
things that I don’t like about myself.
That somehow has gotten so comfy and cozy under my bed.
Being a teacher is a choice.
I like my choice.
My mind feels free and focused.
Did I actually figure something out?
Do I have a hidden talent?
A best kept secret?
What makes me think so differently?
Why do they keep coming back for more?
I'm not sure but when I find out, I’m not telling!
Bah – hahahhah!
Why live life if you can't learn something new?
Why learn something new if you can't share it with someone else?
My life is now in the classroom.
In the front, at the back, near the windows, sitting at desks,
kneeling on floors, standing on chairs.
These are my new yoga moves, my new positions in life.
My eyes have stayed bright and true,
Remembering to take two spoonful’s of honesty daily,
Served with a big, thick, slice of humble pie.
That helps me stay strong.
And also helps me stay real.
Being real inspires.
Students read my thoughts as they sit on my face.
But when harsh words need to be said,
Eyes don’t like – my eyes never stop caring.
Why hasn't he ever put his hand up before?
Why does he suddenly believe that he can be brave?
My eyes tear up.
I cough.
No, choke on hope.
A hope that comes so un-expectantly from the back, a student who
never participates.
Is that really his hand?
The hands that never stray from his pockets, now wave gracefully
above his head.
Why am I shaking?
When did these goose bumps appear?
The hand is still up, but my voice is lost.
I have gone mute.
Thank goodness my mouth is programmed.
"Yes, Omar? Did you have something you wanted to add?"
Silence.
I can’t stand still but want this moment to last forever.
His eyes meet mine and I can barely hold back a smile.
And so, he speaks...
A little bit about the author?
She is a lovely (but crazy-creative) teacher who
sometimes forgets where or who she is in the classroom!
(Pssst - she doesn't often write well and well, shouldn't really
be calling herself a writer!!!)
So...yeah.
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