Learn to Count Your Bananas

Last night at the grocery store a man embarrassed me so badly I 

left blushing and almost crying.

It happened like this.

I was in the EXPRESS line at 10:30 pm at night.

Sending text messages to this lovely someone who makes me laugh. 

Everyone in the line was waiting because something was wrong with the machine.

Of course I didn't care, could have been there all night

writing text messages - pleased as punch.

I was in SUCH a good mood in fact that I sweetly asked the man who had just come up to 

the line behind me if he could help me with something.

"Excuse me sir. Sorry to bother you but I was just wondering....do you know how to spell ricochet?"

He seemed liked a decent older man, professor like - harmless...

...until he spoke.

"What?!? NO! But do you know how to count?"

I stopped smiling.

Is he joking, I thought. Then I looked at his face and clearly he was not.

Took me a moment to realize that he was referring to the amount of items I had.

"OOOh dear! You are right! I am so sorry. Please, go ahead of me. 

I insist, how silly of me. I didn't even notice I was the express lane"

"No, that's okay" he replied.

But I had a sneaky suspicion that he was not bring SINCERE.

Again, I politely demanded that he take his three 

 items and go ahead of me and my 18 items. 

He refused again.

"NO, it's okay" he kept saying but then added, 

"The move with the ricochet spelling, now that

was a mean trick"

THIS IS WHERE I SHOULD HAVE STOPPED TALKING TO HIM...but I didn't.

"Oh well, it really wasn't a trick. I was being serious actually. Wanted to send a message to my friend and well, I figure you looked like you would know how to spell it.

 (tying to lighten the mood I kept going) Is there a "k" in ricochet?"

And that is when all hell broke loose.

"Is there a "k" in there? Do you know how to spell? Can you spell banana? 

Maybe you should focus more on counting than spelling. We should practice your counting because you have like 8 bananas right there and well, pretty

sure the sign says only 8 items total. 

B-A-N-A-N-A how do you spell that?

You know it's people like you how fuck up the lines in the grocery store....bla-bla-bla"

He did not stop.

I can't even remember the things he was saying but 

they were smart. Cut me down like a pro, I mean after all

this was a decent looking man that appeared to be some kind

of professor.

WHAT DID I DO? 

WAIL ON HIM LIKE I HAD JUST DONE IN CLASS?

Nope.

(bloody disappointment) 

I just put my tail between my legs, 

gave the kid at the register a small smile and walked out

face completely red and well, almost crying.

I will never look at bananas the same....ugh!

Whatever, what goes around comes around right?

I am sure I deserved that in another life for something and well, I have

a bag class today so at least I have motivation...?

Picture kicking him in the groin will be very satisfying.

:-)