For me,
learning French was like being in a relationship.
HOW THE HECK DOES THAT MAKE ANY SENSE LAUREN?
Not sure.
Regardless,
here is my version of learning a language.
In a time line, of COURSE!
A time line of a relationship, from start to finish.
FROM the 1st DATE to LOVERS in DANGEROUS TIME
(a.k.a. best friends in love)
smiling*
And so it begins, the FIRST DATE
Plain humiliating at times.
*blushing constantly*
FUN and exciting while nerve racking as HELL,
Silly & sweet
You start taking some chances which fail,
but you're persistent and stubborn,
you want that first kiss.
***
You are on CLOUD 9 and soaring higher~!
(made it to first base, little kiss goodnight after first date; YAY)
You are in la-la-la land,
dreaming BIG and smiling even BIGGER.
Then you make a mistake,
(you wrote a dumb text or told a friend who spread a rumour)
And then, a few more mistakes happen.
Then nothing BUT French mistakes and misunderstandings
comes from your mouth and suddenly,
everything you carefully crafted has come undone.
***
It's not as simple as it looked in that French movie you watched with him last night,
feelings of isolation being to surface,
you're insecurities surround you like a pack of wolves,
hungry to feed on your every fuck-up.
No one understands you when you try to talk
AND EVERYONE IS TALKING TOO FAST,
PLEEEEASE - SLOW DOWN!
(not even the French guy who says he loves you seems to care)
***
But you battle on because you're a trooper,
(and like I said before, a stubborn ASS!)
You feel 2% brave and 98% like an idiot - DAILY!
But then suddenly
you understand a French word from the lady at the grocery store check-out
Automatically you respond correctly...
...in FRENCH!
Magic.
There IS a light at the end of this long, dark, cold-ass tunnel
Baby-steps you remind yourself, BABY STEPS Lauren.
BUT YOU MADE A LINK, A REAL CONNECTION~!
The excitement in your heart can't help but SWELL
and START DANCING!
Your brain is humming,
fireworks are going off in your heart
Maybe you CAN do this after all!?!
Words are making sense now, you are trusting your feelings
Self-confidence begins to grow inside
YOU GET DARING
and start living life a little more on the edge.
Voulez-vous couchez avec moi?
(and your French lover LOVES this!)
***
OH CRAP!
Too cocky, too fast, ohhhh shooot!
CRAAAAAAAASH!
Awkward language barrier comes back, nothing makes sense again.
What did you say? What are you saying?!?
I don't understand - baaaah!
Setback.
You want to cry.
YOU SCREAM IN FRUSTRATION BUT NO ONE CAN HEAR BECAUSE
IT'S ALL IN YOUR HEAD
(and it's all in ENGLISH!)
Back peddling but going no where fast,
why are they talking even faster than before?
Don't they know I am just a beginner?
Café-verre-d'eau?
Was that even French?
What does that mean?
Ugggggh.
***
Back to the drawing board.
Head between your hands.
Your first real fight with language, with love, with life.
Did you win?
Nope.
You lost, BIG TIME.
EPIC FAIL.
Give-up OR restart?
You press the RESTART button.
Getting back on that pony that bucked you off,
is the hardest scariest part of all.
Steeeeeady-steady, you whisper to yourself.
You can do this.
Breath.
You call your boyfriend and apologize, let's try again?
He says, "D'accord."
***
Baby steps turn into baby kicks,
You crawl back into arms of comfort, your French man wraps you up tight.
You keep taking little risks,
Crawling turns into steps,
steps turns into walking,
walking turns into skips
BUT
slowly, slow down, BE CAUTIOUS!
Really? Why?
It all feels so good.
But it's inevitable, you knew it was coming.
Another setback?
But this time at least you saw it coming.
It still hurts - OUCH!
Pain nails you right, dead, SMACK in the face.
This is it....the straw the broke the camel back.
Now or never.
You have failed again and again so just
throw in the towel in already Lauren?
Time to be honest.
You gave it a good try.
Give it up.
Give up on everything,
on the relationship,
on the learning French.
No change is coming.
Sigh*
You are at a cross-roads.
***
Stubborn determination KICKS you back in the arse
haaaaarrrrrrd.
NOTE: Ms.Wells keep jars of stubbornness is you ever need any
GET BACK ON THE DANG PONY AND RIDE, YOU FOOL!
NOW!!!
(That's what Rhiannon would say, right Rhi?)
No giving up, can't let the language win~!
You DECIDE to keep going.
(because you are crazy? Debatable)
Bring it on pain,
bring on the humiliation,
you still got fight,
although you're not sure...where did this come from?
It doesn't matter, the decision has been made.
***
A very long time later,
LONGER than you would have liked.
You wake up.
Something about your dream was off,
weird, unfamiliar yet strangely...
...familiar?
OHHHHH, HANG ON....
YOU WERE DREAMING IN FRENCH!
Tears of joy mix-in with your morning coffee.
You don't care or mind because...
...YOU MADE IT TO THE OTHER SIDE!
YOU UNDERSTAND
and
aren't AFRAID anymore!
You keep making mistakes but you smile and laugh,
and embrace it all!
You embrace the unknown.
You embrace the awkward moments
(and believe me, they still come),
BUT
You now know what it means to relish in those moments,
because the connection between words and meaning has been made,
has been solidified
and
you did it, all on your own.
You achieved the impossible.
You are in love.
You understand French.
It's open your mind, your thoughts, and
your emotions.
You are in love.
It feels good.
It's feels real, it feels powerful and
you stand taller.
You are in love.
You feel strong
because you have earned it, you survived it and
now you want more.
German, perhaps?
Maybe later.
Boom.
***
Arthur's notes:
French is like my other home.
I use it when I want to get away, be somewhere else.
It's fun to have two places to live
and of course, I encourage anyone or everyone to learn another language.
Pssst -
it also gives you an excuse to kiss as MANY foreigners
(men or woman)
as possible!
MOU - hahahhaha!
Kidding*
