Why I Became A Teacher

Why do we get so excited about sharing ideas with people? 

Why do moments with young minds lighten my steps some days and bring me crashing down the next?

I often walk into class forgetting which one of us is the teacher,

Loosing myself in a moment or a fit of giggles 
and then an embarrassing hiccup as I suddenly remember, 

"Ohhh right, it's me the teacher...remember who you are Ms.Wells!"

But why does it have to be so different? 

When did everything decide to change?

My eyes are bright, my outfit perfect but that goofy grin just won't go away.

The rules may be different being a teacher and 
the lessons longer than I remember but-but-but
Just breath Lauren, or Ms.Wells, breeeeaath...
Relax, you can do this; you are the teacher now!
Ugh even breathing feels unnatural

How can teaching feel so uncomfortably new 
but also so innately familiar?

How on earth am I excited, waiting years for the answer from a student...when I already know the answer?

I'm a full time actress, that's how! 

"But why Ms. Wells? Do you know why?"
"OF COURSE, I do...the reason is because..."
(gulp)
Silence grows, time ticks, minds race, and the awkward tension grows.
Finally my own voice breaks the silence.

"Like I said, of course I DON'T know why - I can't possible know everything!"

Smiles erupt, thoughts pop, and eyes shine 

My honesty always in toe with my non-stop humour, 
A smile breaks across my own face as I cut, eat, and swallow my own thick slice of humble pie.

Why is teaching the ultimate risk? 
Saying that you really don't know?How often do we get to say that as an adult? 
And how often do those moments suddenly inspire a student?

(that moment a boy who has never uttered a word, puts up his hand)

Why haven't I ever seen his hand up before?

Why does he suddenly believe that he can be brave?

My eyes tear up.

I cough, no correction. 
I choke on the hope that is getting stuck in my throat.

The hand comes from the back of the room,

From a boy who rarely speaks
I hold my breath and everything becomes very clear.
This is why I am and will always be a teacher.

***

These are the moments we long for, hold on to and so often get to cherish.

What did the kid say in the end...?

I can't remember...I was too busy relishing in the moment 

Bah - HA!

Boom.