What Would She Say...?: Lauren vs. Stress Is A Constant Battle That I Often Lose

Sunday 7 August 2016

Lauren vs. Stress Is A Constant Battle That I Often Lose

I never knew just how stressed-out I could be until I started teaching...

Some would argue

(including myself)

that I have always had the "stress-ball" personality trait.

Examples?

#1
Not being able to sleep for months my first year at Tennessee because I was so worried

about not performing to standards and losing my rowing scholarship.

(Of course, this did not happen. In fact, I was on a full ride after that

very year because I HAD surpassed my own goals - good girl, Lo)

#2
Living abroad and not having any money - hah!

Now that WAS stressful!

I remember being able to only afford chocolate and bread

for weeks...
And of course, my roommates would make these Suisse meals that
smelt AMAZING - ugh!

But I had too much pride to ask for a small helping

or show just how hungry I was.

In the end, it all worked out.

I found a job (my first teaching job actually)

and fell in love with work, which helped me stay overseas longer than expected!

(And it might have helped that I had an awesome man friend at the time

and an amazing rowing club that I adored!)

#3
Rowing for the National Team.
As FUN and EXCITING as it was, it stressed the HECK out of me.

From making weight to thinking about the hard workouts to come.

Of course, when you get on the water that all falls to the wayside
and the thrill of the boat moving was enough for me
(let alone the INCREDIBLE teammates and coaches that surrounded me)
but

MAN - OH - MAN

the build up of STRESS that I created - Sheeeesh.

(And in truth, I was never very good at doing one thing at a time so I liked

to work on the side, or volunteer, or take courses at Uni...)

But those were all for GOOD reasons.

Why am I still such a stress-ball?
***
No kids.
No health issues.
No debt.
No rashes...yet.
***

I dunno.

Will get back to you when I know.

Until then...this might be insightful:

I went to the supermarket this morning. I was really hungry.

What do I want for breakfast? Salty? Sweet?

Something light and quick or something filling?

Eggs and toast, maybe with an avocado sliced on top? Bean tacos? A cup of coffee and a hearty cookie? A muffin? Maybe chai and fruit!

I really, really want something, but I don’t know what.

A woman is standing in front of me drinking a chocolate protein drink. I ask her if it’s good.

"It’s the most delicious protein shake I’ve ever had", she says.

I grab one, open it and take a big slug. As a food lover, I never would have thought “I want a protein shake” but it’s creamy and thick and satisfying and I feel like my whole body is thanking me for choosing just what I needed.

This is what life is like.

I don’t know what I want.

Instead of feeling angst about this, which makes me feel inadequate, nervous, fearful, stressed, closed off, I have learned that not knowing what I want is a gift, not a curse.

It keeps me receptive, open and ready to welcome the perfect thing.

Written by: Dushka Zapata

https://www.quora.com/What-is-your-most-memorable-cultural-shock/answer/Dushka-Zapata

To sum up?
(How do I continue to NOT feed this stress-ball personality trait?)

1. Drink coffee.